As humans we tend to plans things, some of us plan the shopping, others just go and add things to the basket, in my case trolley. We plan special birthday numbers like the big 21st and the 50th.
But in 2018 the planning kinda stopped…………it stopped more towards October, the month when my husband had to turn 50.
I had a feeling that he wasn’t well, he loved Dettol baths and when he started putting Dettol in the toilet, I thought, “Hur Uh” and decided to ask what’s with the Dettol in the toilet, babes and he replied, just decided to clean it, but after a few more Dettol episodes, I had to look him in the eye and ask, ” Michael what is going on”. Later that evening he called me to the bathroom and asked if I wanted to look at his poop, WOW, feeling hot all of a sudden, this is bringing back so much memories and emotions, sorry I need a moment, I can’t seem to see the computer screen through
the tears.
I knew the white stuff shouldn’t be there, the mucous, the blood, my heart was racing and I thought, shit, I mentally tried to compose myself, don’t know if I sounded convincing because he never said anything, but turned around and said, ”you know that doesn’t look like haemorrhoids right “. All I can say is, whatever was in the toilet, was not suppose too be there, and it most definitely wasn’t suppose too be coming out of my husband’s body and I immediately knew that it wasn’t going to be good. I tried to be positive after that and prayed to the Lord to ask him to please let it be okay, don’t let it be serious and I couldn’t sleep that night.
A day or so later, we also went to the shop and the escalator was not working and we had to walk up and I was shocked that my husband was so tired and that he had to rest when he got to the top floor and we only walked one floor up, I mean, we are talking about a man that would run up the mountain, that got a thrill from pushing himself at gym and doing as much repetitions to increase his chest and arms, I didn’t understand, what the HELL was going on, maybe tomorrow just get out of the bed on the other side. Shame he tried hard to work on his legs, but they would just not increase in size. When we got home after shopping, we sat down and we made a pact, he said he never wanted a 50th birthday, even though it was on the plan and we decided to spend time together, just the 2 of us and when we return he will go and see the doctor. I think the carer in me immediately kicked in, probably one of the good qualities I got from my mom. So I made arrangement for someone to stay at our place, see to the dogs, etc and off we headed to LÁgulhas ( both of us were never there and it was a place that we wanted to visit, to be at the southernmost tip of Africa) Our 1st stop was Betty’s Bay and I arranged with the restaurant to make a special 50th birthday message on the dessert when they brought it out. We had a wonderful, relaxing and romantic dinner and Michael was surprised and thankful for the birthday message. And you know when it is your birthday, you get special birthday request later ….ooh la lah
The next day, the weather changed and it got worse and after staying in Betty’s Bay for 2 days, we decided to head inland as the warnings where all along the coastline. We went to see the Theewaterskloof Dam for ourselves and checked out the water levels ( then the drought was still so bad) and continued on and ended up at Caledon Hotel and spa and while I had spa treatments, Hubby was sitting in the casino and then also won a nice some of money. We continued through Robertson, Bonnievale and eventually ended up in Montagu. I could see he was tired and that the driving was taking a strain on him but I also thought that we need to get home, so that he could see the doctor. I then said, “babes, I am missing home, the dogs, my bed, do you think we can go home tomorrow” and he agreed.
We spent our last night together of the trip, just being mindful of each other, being with each other, taking things easy. I do however think that both of us were anxious of returning home, to reality and knowing that he had to go to the doctor when we returned. So, we did the road trip, he went to the doctor, he had a colonoscopy, it was a tumor, it was stage 4 cancer and he passed away 8 months later.
Tooraloo
Lynntox
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